Blog Archives

The Obstacle is The Way (Day 181)

6/30/2019

Image Credit: Wm. E. Ashton, II

Today’s topic is one of my all-time favorite Stoic concepts: the very thing preventing us from continuing on our path marks the path itself; that same thing becomes the path…

… if we allow it.

Our rich, skilled, and overactive egos will convince us to not engage with what’s before us in order to preserve itself. Engaging with the obstacle could bring about the things that challenge ego’s comfort: pain, in any form, and/or the necessity to change.

How we engage the obstacle isn’t important. What is important is that we do engage, not sit around idly, or make excuses.

If you feel challenged by whatever blocks your path, it’s because you’re triggered by what you feel from your encounter with the obstacle. If you feel less-than when faced with the mountain, it’s because the mountain is showing you your fears, your weaknesses, and places where you could train more. In short, your ego is uncomfortable when faced with challenges.

Please, don’t let your ego be your boss. Face it, conquer it…

… after all, it’s the obstacle.

(See y’all tomorrow, when we’ll begin talking about duty.)

No Excuses (Day 180)

6/29/2019

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

What justifications are you using to not have to engage with self-improvement, and instead, dwell in stagnation?

“This is the way I’ve always done it.” “According to the lore…” “My parents were real shitty people.” “This isn’t my problem.”

Those answers are ego bonum, self-good… or for the good of our egos.

When we live for the greater good, for the good of all, our answers come from a place of summum bonum, the highest good… or the sum of all good, which by its nature, cannot be egoic.

How do we stop making excuses? We have to make “no more excuses” a daily practice, and not just something we’d like to do… but something that we diligently do.

Let’s get to doing… no more excuses.

(See y’all tomorrow)

No Self-Flagellation Needed (Day 179)

6/28/2019

Image Credit - Thesaurus.plus

As a pagan and polytheist pastor/priest/cleric I’m blessed with the obligation of service, and it’s because of my obligation that, through my work, I’ve come to learn many things about my community (and consequently, myself). I get to see how we as a community, as well as individuals, work with the idea of being hard on oneself.

Among the myriad ways we’ve learned how to beat ourselves up, my personal “favorites” (#sarcasm) are self-deprecating humor and ruthless self-flagellation. Shit, we’re really hard on ourselves. Like… whoa. Maybe because we’re so fearful about that kind of harmful talk coming from another person that we get out in front of things and… and what??? Do it to ourselves? Really? That can’t be the right answer.

Before the other person gets the chance to punch you in the face, you… punch yourself in the face? Really? C’mon, y’all.

Of the worlds religious people, I’d wager that the ones who identified as pagans/polytheist would hold themselves in high regard when it came to intelligence. We consider ourselves a clever lot, yes? Well, for a bunch of super-smart folx, punching ourselves in the face is not terribly bright. I promise. It’s not.

Self-criticism is one thing. That’s something that can be used toward achieving a disciplined self. Self-loathing, “brain weasels”, and beating ourselves up are useless methods and ultimately, counter-productive. There is no penance to be paid for life’s failures, but there is a commitment to ourselves we have to honor: we have to get up one more time than we’ve been knocked down. If, like me, you need a chemical ally to make sure that happens, more power to you! If you don’t? That’s badass, too!

Holding ourselves to a high standard through Virtue practice is admirable, but we have to ask ourselves: is self-abuse really part of our “high” standard?

(See y’all tomorrow)

Adversity Reveals (Day 178)

6/27/2019

Image by Nathan Copley from Pixabay

(Note: Below, you’ll find what came to me in today’s on-topic meditation. Originally, all the uses of the word “you” were directed at me, as I was telling this story to myself during my time in contemplation. Essentially, this is the journey upon which my ego took me. If you’re willing, take the story into yourself. Make the “you” about you. May that which is revealed to you be what you need and not what you hoped for. Blessings.)

*DING DONG*

You hear the doorbell’s call. Without losing a moment you head to the door, and upon opening it you see the delivery driver holding what is soon to be dinner for you, your family, and your friends. You pay the delivery person and tip them generously. Walking back to the table around which everyone is seated and very ready to eat, you think to yourself: As the host, you’ve gathered everyone together, painstakingly took the orders, checked and double-checked the orders with each person. When you called in the order, you checked and double-checked to confirm the person taking it down got things right, without error. You did your part to ensure the upcoming meal was filled with sterling Hospitality, and culinary delights…

… and once unpacking your meal, and laying it out before your guests and kin, you all notice a couple of errors in what you had all hoped would be a flawless meal. As if on cue, EVERYONE looks at (read as: looked TO) you, the host, for what comes next.

In this moment, you and everyone else, is about to bear witness to your character. Everyone is about to see who you are as a person.

How you handle this moment IS who you are. This blip of time, this seemingly inconsequential annoyance defines you… whether you believe it does or not.

Do you make excuses? Do you blame others? Do you over-apologize? Do you say rude things about anyone or anything involved in this situation? Do you let this ruin the rest of what would have otherwise been a delightful evening? Do you move forward with this uncontrollable inconvenience with Courage, kindness, and dare I say… grace?

Your answer matters.

Just like it matters in each moment, in all you do and say… it matters.

Let adversity reveal an adamantine spirit when it comes looking. Let it find you prepared to remain in balance, and filled with Perspective. Let it find you awake and ready to meet it face-to-face.

Otherwise, what will it find? *shudders*

See y’all tomorrow)

Try the Opposite (Day 177)

6/26/2019

Image by Iván Tamás from Pixabay

What assistance can we find in the fight against habit? Try the opposite!”
Epictetus, Discourses, 1.27.4

Today is about breaking patterns that don’t serve us, about going in a different direction other than the habituated one.

Many of you know that I’m an addict. For more than half my life I’ve been addicted to tobacco (cigarettes, specifically), and for the majority of that time I’d beat myself up about smoking. I’d tell myself how much of a failure I was after smoking, and proceed to emotionally torture myself every time I’d try to quit and fail. Patches, gum, hypnosis, you name it and I’ve tried it. I knew smoking was bad for me but I couldn’t get out of the habit. Why?

Because of my habituated adherence to the overculture’s relationship with tobacco.

Society says tobacco is bad, and that people who smoke fall into several undesirable societal categories: less educated, more mental health challenges, etc, etc, etc… in other words, if smoking is bad, and I can’t quit, then I must be bad, too. Thus, the spiral continued to drag me downward into depression.

Today, I no longer smoke (thanks Kaiser Permanente & Colorado Quitline). Sure, the mood altering drugs and nicotine patches helped, but looking back at things, it was the changing of my relationship with tobacco-narrative that finally made the difference.

While at university, I was given a book by a professor of mine who had much success with that text in her own journey of tobacco cessation. This book was about being gentle with yourself around addiction, thereby changing my narrative around tobacco, and ultimately, my relationship with it. I didn’t beat myself up when I’d fall off the wagon. I’d be kind to myself, reminding myself that it took decades to become addicted, and the road to freedom would take a long time to travel. This approach was the opposite of my previous approaches because I wasn’t adding to my negative emotions and self-sabotaging mind. I was doing the opposite, as per Epictetus’ guidance.

In short, I was trying a different approach. And yes, it took time (about 10 years) to rebuild my tobacco story, to give myself a break, and to try something different.

It worked.

So, where in your life can you try different approaches? With family? Friends? Work? Interpersonal connections? What about with the internal dialogue with which we torture ourselves (a.k.a. “Brain weasels”)?

Let’s get on that different road, and travel to liberation.

(See y’all tomorrow)

The Wise Don’t Have “Problems” (Day 176)

6/25/2019

Image by www_slon_pics from Pixabay

This is why we say that nothing happens to the wise person contrary to their expectations.”
Seneca, On Tranquility of Mind, 13.3b

When Seneca was talking about “the wise”, I believe he was referring to the same kind of folx Buddhists would call “awakened” or even “enlightened”. Wisdom, like enlightenment or awakening, helps the individual get past the mindless snares of cyclical habituation. In other words, the wise, like the enlightened, are not victims of their egos.

Holiday offers a few reasons as to why this is (The Daily Stoic, 191):

First, the wise manage their presumptions, and wrangle in any foolish hopes for irrational outcomes. They don’t predict they’ll receive what isn’t feasible in the first place.

Second, they keep a firm grip on reality, including all outcomes regardless of a positive or negative nature. Their focus isn’t only on what they want to happen, but on what realistically could happen. If things go pear-shaped, they won’t be caught off-guard, as they’ve been real with their expectations, seeing things fail as well as succeed.

Finally, they pre-install a reverse clause - meaning they don’t only prepare for what may go wrong, but they prepare for what comes after, as if the “wrong” was the way they planned on going in the first place… kind of like Dr. Strange did in the first Infinity Wars film.

Join me in adding these three steps to daily practice. If we work on them diligently, we’ll find that little to nothing surprises us, and few things will happen outside of our expectations.

Hence, no “problems”.

(See y’all tomorrow)

The Truly Educated Aren’t Quarrelsome (Day 175)

6/24/2019

After reading today’s piece, I can’t get the phrase “is this the hill you want to die on?“ out of my head. My grandfather always used to say this, and I think it was one of the reasons why his approach to life was very gentle. He had no interest in dying on most hills.

Going through life gently is something it’s always escaped me, as much of my life is filled with intensity. I’ve been called an intense personality, and sometimes, even quarrelsome. It’s no secret that I like a good flight, which puts today’s lesson in opposition with that feeling of enjoyment.

Also, I think another problem with today’s teaching, is the logical fallacy of No True Scotsman. When we’re talking about the truly educated, we’ve already entered into the dichotomy of true and false, which makes the parameters of inclusion very small. Who are the truly educated? Is it the person who has a lifetime of experience? Is it the person who has high degrees from educational institutions?

Since this months theme is problem-solving, I have to link up today’s teaching with that theme. How I’m approaching it is thus: don’t be argumentative, and listen more than you speak. After all, that’s the hospitable way to do things, isn’t it?

(See y’all tomorrow)

The Long Way Around (Day 174)

6/23/2019

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay

When we think of success, we usually think of things like financial independence, or securing a new position, or starting up an innovative business. But WHY are we trying to have financial independence, or that new job, or whatever? Because we’re trying to get to something deeper.

Freedom. Happiness. Respect.

I suppose I’m left wondering what choices are being made that we have to travel to freedom via the long road of financial independence? What decisions are being made when we have to travel through a new job or startup business in order to get to happiness and respect? Sounds like taking the long way to the destination.

If we change our perspective, and practice being in the present moment, we see these things we seek down such long roads are already here before us.

Here and now. That’s where we can find independence, strength, respect, and abundance.

(See y’all tomorrow)

The Definition of Insanity (Day 173)

6/23/2019

Image by Jason King from Pixabay

We’ve all heard the phrase about the “definition” of insanity, right? Doing the same thing again and again, but expecting different results. That’s nuts, we say to ourselves. Who does that, we ask.

We do. All of us.

If you believe that today you’ll be kinder, wiser, more hospitable, or more disciplined, AND you’ve done nothing to make those changes, then you are, perhaps, insane. Doing the same things and hoping the outcomes will be different is not only foolish, but it’s lazy.

To quote Ryan Holiday, “Hope is not a strategy.” (The Daily Stoic, 188)

(See y’all tomorrow)

Take a Walk (Day 172)

6/21/2019

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

I miss going for walks with friends. Since my COPD diagnosis, and my friends desire to do more “hiking” and less “walking”, that practice has fallen by the wayside. As an aside, if any of y’all are in the area and feel like going for a pastoral walk with me, let me know. I’m talkin’ neighborhood stroll. Flatland kinda stuff.

Anyway…

In his work, On Tranquility of Mind, Seneca said…

We should take wandering outdoor walks, so that the mind might be nourished and refreshed by the open air and deep breathing.” (17.8)

A stroll in the open air can do SO many things for our well-being, aside from the physical benefits. Time for a pause, change of perspective, a moment to cool off… going for that walk heals our spirit.

15-20 min. Every other day, at the least.

Let’s go for a walk. In our own time zones, and our own neighborhoods… let’s take a walk.

(See y’all tomorrow.)

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About the Blog

Awakening the desire to explore Stoicism, and how it relates to his existing beliefs, Rev. William committed to working through the text, The Daily Stoic, a year-long journey to awaken the Stoic mind.
How things are structured can be found in the first post.

About the Author

Born and raised in New Orleans, Louisiana, Rev. William attended Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado where in 2007 he graduated with a degree in Religious Studies, minoring in Psychology. Currently residing in Longmont, CO, he is one of the Priests and founder of Mountain Ancestors Grove. He spends his time playing mandolin (and some guitar), writing, engaging in LGBTQIA+ advocacy and education, community service, and sharing a larger vision of how a polytheist perspective can lead to greater human understanding, acceptance, and gods be good, peace.

A Year of Contemplation