Remember the movie (or book) Fight Club? In it, there’s a fantastic line that goes something like, “We buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like.”

Read that line as many times you need until it scans as both absolutely ridiculous AND perfectly true… because it’s 100% both. 

Once we’re aware of of those facts, don’t they seem like they’re the antithesis of what we’re working on here with these daily meditations, or religious practices, or ANY sort of self-improvement process? Of course they do. 

All the shit we do in order to impress these people isn’t done because we WANT to do those things… we do them so we can get some sort of desperately-sought approval from people who aren’t worth the anxiety they cause. #EgoBullshit

So, ask again: Why do we need to impress these people? 

(See y’all tomorrow)

Why do we experience cowardice? Is it because we’re afraid of pain, or loss, or perhaps it’s something more nebulous… we’re afraid of being caught in a situation for which we’ll not be prepared. 

Have a plan.

The Stoic principle of Premeditatio Malorum connects us to the stream of ills that could possibly befall us. We meditate on all the terrible situations we could possibly find ourselves, no matter how terrible. 

It’s the belief of the Stoic that by practicing this, they will not be shocked and caught “flat footed” when they find themselves in bad situations, no matter how damaging. 

Sounds easy, but like today’s title implies, cowardice is a design problem… and it’s not that cowardice is the problem. Cowardice is a byproduct of ego, which is the real problem. 

(See y’all tomorrow) 

There’s a bit of ourselves that we usually hold in reserve, used so we can keep an eye on our internal processes, and employed to guide us to choices rooted in virtue. It’s that bit of ourselves constantly counseling (hopefully) into healthy decisions for ourselves and others. 

Roman satirist, Juvenal, is known for his question: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Literally, “Who will guard the guards, themselves?” (Satire VI, lines 347–348) In other words, perhaps, an oversight unit… like internal affairs is to police departments. For the sake of this month’s awareness practice, consider: what are we using as oversight unto ourselves? 

I’ve been thinking about: who or what is keeping that little bit of ourselves in check? Maybe the answer is hope. A belief that we can wrestle with our egos, and from a higher position, emerge victorious. Wrestlers will all tell us that the key to victory is not in hoping, but in practicing. 

But even in our practice, what’s the guiding force behind its “ruling reason”? What’s the root, of the root, of the root of our practice? 

Always a deeper cause, there is. Causes that cause the causes. On and on. 

(See y’all tomorrow)

One of my favorite parts of these daily contemplations is starting with the title, reading only that, then putting the text down and sitting with only the title for several minutes. So, after reading today’s title… 

*shakes fist at monitor* “Tell that to the underprivileged, and marginalized, Mr. Holiday!” Grrr. 

After my initial reaction, usually as self-entertaining and righteous as the one above, I read the remainder of the daily entry. Metaphor unpacked, I now see the title’s relevance to the month’s practice-theme, awareness, and the Stoic objective, mastery over desire. 

It’s not about getting everything we want. It’s wanting everything we have. From where I’m sitting, it would appear one path to be naturally occurring, while the other in much need of “landscaping”. 

Reframing what is desired is how we get to the point of wanting what we have… in other words, contentment in the now. Specifically, the “now” that we have control over. Ourselves. 

I asked myself, “what wealth cannot be taken by outside forces?” That is the “free” wealth Holiday is talking about in the title. What freedom isn’t contingent on circumstances beyond our control? That’s really the only “freedom” that’s truly free. 

Unburdening ourselves from desire’s trap IS the practice; however, we’re so hell-bent on staying attached to the pseudoreality of societal wealth and freedom, we think we only have to unburden ourselves once (myself definitely included). Liberation, like magick, is a process… not a thing. It’s a lot of ongoing hard work, blood, struggle, loneliness, and strength born from our own individual journeys, complete with humble aspirations, gracious successes, and resilient failures. 

Like liberation, and magick, the unburdening practice is ultimately our own individual responsibility.

(See y'all tomorrow)

Well, of course there is! 

Perhaps it would be better to say: because we practice a mindful, aware life, every interaction or moment of engagement offers a opportunity to put our practice to the test, thereby putting philosophy ‘in’ everything. 

Every friend, every social hiccup, every blinding success… everything contains opportunity to practice. 

Funny thing is, whether we practice or not, the opportunities arise, nonetheless. 

Be prepared, yeah? 

(See y’all tomorrow) 

What ills have trapped our souls in straightjackets? 

There are so many to choose from, really. Seneca touches on greed and ambition, two very relevant and immediately-apparent conditions in our world today, as they were nearly two thousand years ago when Seneca made his original observation. 

Greed and ambition, like many conditions of the “human condition”, show up in all our lives in varying levels of presence and intensity. No amount of anything practice will turn those hungers and desires off, but we can manage how much of our attention we grant those feelings, and what we choose to do when we’re feeling them. 

For me, I have to combat not-enough-ness, daily, in many of its various and sundry forms. One in particular that stands out is miserliness. Talk about straightjacketed soul… metaphorically speaking, one can’t be generous when one’s arms and hands are bound. It’s hard to “give” when bound. It was modeled for me by my maternal grandmother (of blessed memory), the woman who reared me, probably because she was a child in the middle of WWII, and not-enough-ness was very real and present for her. That kind of experience can really break someone… and yet, while we are the product of our circumstances, we still have control over the final manifestation of what (or who) that product is. 

Miserliness appears in my life in the tension between Hospitality (the Virtue) and List-keeping and Weighing “value” of Generosity (the weaponized Virtue). My grandmother was the freakin’ queen of weaponized hospitality. I promised myself I’d not be that way in my adult life, and would be generous, unlike her. Truthfully, it’s not that she wasn’t generous, she was just shitty about it. For a long time I was the idiot-Hospitality version of generosity, and that’s just another style of straightjacket. It’s not that I wasn’t giving, it’s that I was giving too much. However, the problem wasn’t that I was was trapped by doing too much giving, or too much withholding. The problem was, and is, that I’m trapped by Hospitality, itself. 

The straightjacket of Hospitality. 

Wait. What the hell is the “straightjacket” of Virtue??? 

Throughout our daily lives, Virtue challenges will pop up along our paths. Here we have the choice of do we “virtue” or do we not “virtue”. Let’s say, we choose to “virtue”. Yay. Good for us, yeah? The next phase of this process is HOW do we “virtue”? How are we being virtuous? Is it too much virtue, or too little virtue? Are we going to use our virtuous action to hold power over someone later? All this, and more, is about how we “virtue”. 

Ultimately, we would like to reside in perfect virtue, and to feel free within that virtue and in all the actions we take… but, we will fail. That’s OK. We’re supposed to, otherwise how can we get the change to try again? 

But what about the “straightjacket of Hospitality”? Being trapped by the virtue itself means that we (our egos) take advantage of the space between missing the mark (failing), and getting back on track. If, while we are within the zone of getting back getting back on track,we simply get back on our feet, dust off, make things right (rupture/repair), and keep on keepin’ on, then, yay! However, if we get “ego-fuel” from our choices that happen during the getting-up-and-getting-back-on-track process, then our egos are trapped within that virtue. We are doing the virtue for the sake of ego and not for the sake of the virtue practice itself… for the sake of others. 

We can choose to be a free-spirit-who-virtues (virtue as verb), or we can feed our egos in a facade of virtue practice that looks like virtue from the outside, but has all the nutritional value of spirit-fast-food. 

Ouch. The “diseases of the rational soul” can really knock us for a loop, can’t they?

So, from where do these ills and straightjackets arise? 

Ego (but, y’all saw that coming, right?), and it’s lust for comfort and validation. Full stop. 

Are we even aware of the bound condition of our souls? 

More often than not, no. 

We are responsible to be the doctor for our own spirit-illnesses. While we can get guidance to heal and free ourselves, ultimately, if we’re not even aware we’re sick, then we can never truly heal. 

We must free our souls from their straightjackets.

(See y’all tomorrow)

What are the outward signs and inner processes of being educated? What tells the word that you are an educated person?

Degrees? Diplomas? Dissertations? Doctorates? 

Maybe.

Certificates? Classes? College? Courses? 

Perhaps. 

Awareness of reality? Ability for reflection? Acceptance of our place in Cosmos? 

Definitely. 

(See y’all tomorrow)