I remember when I was first starting to check out Buddhism. I was in my very early 20’s, and back then in New Orleans, there wasn’t a lot of opportunity for that kind of thing. The thing I remember most was the common teaching, paraphrased below:
No one can make you feel a certain kind of way. That’s all on you.
I remember my early 20’s self. How young and ignorant. HA! I remember how foolish the idea of “no one making you feel” sounded. I asked the master, “What if someone says hurtful things to you and you end up feeling bad?” I followed up with, “What if it’s your mother?” before he had a chance to reply to the first question.
He looked at me with the kind of kind face that comes from years of practice, and an equal amount of time listening to dipshit students who believe they know everything… and after a while, he said:
“They only offer the words and circumstances. Ultimately, you’re the one who accepts what they’re offering, and carries those shitty things around with you. Don’t pick that shit up. Who wants to carry around a pocket full of someone elses shit?”
“Don’t pick that shit up.” Really? That’s all you got for me, man?
Looking back on that day now, I see how right he was, and much of a little asshole I was. We are not the victims of our circumstances… unless we let ourselves become victims.
In my time teaching martial arts, I used to tell students that victims are, “people who have no longer have choices”. As long as we can choose, we’re not victims (in the philosophical sense).
We cannot control our circumstances, or the things that others say. We can, however, control what happens in ourselves. We allow ourselves to become stressed, or frustrated, or overwhelmed. Not others.
The cause of all that strife is within us. We just blame it on others when they give us an excuse to do so.
Rise above. Don't walk around with a pocket full of someone else's shit.
(See y’all tomorrow)
No one can make you feel a certain kind of way. That’s all on you.
I remember my early 20’s self. How young and ignorant. HA! I remember how foolish the idea of “no one making you feel” sounded. I asked the master, “What if someone says hurtful things to you and you end up feeling bad?” I followed up with, “What if it’s your mother?” before he had a chance to reply to the first question.
He looked at me with the kind of kind face that comes from years of practice, and an equal amount of time listening to dipshit students who believe they know everything… and after a while, he said:
“They only offer the words and circumstances. Ultimately, you’re the one who accepts what they’re offering, and carries those shitty things around with you. Don’t pick that shit up. Who wants to carry around a pocket full of someone elses shit?”
“Don’t pick that shit up.” Really? That’s all you got for me, man?
Looking back on that day now, I see how right he was, and much of a little asshole I was. We are not the victims of our circumstances… unless we let ourselves become victims.
In my time teaching martial arts, I used to tell students that victims are, “people who have no longer have choices”. As long as we can choose, we’re not victims (in the philosophical sense).
We cannot control our circumstances, or the things that others say. We can, however, control what happens in ourselves. We allow ourselves to become stressed, or frustrated, or overwhelmed. Not others.
The cause of all that strife is within us. We just blame it on others when they give us an excuse to do so.
Rise above. Don't walk around with a pocket full of someone else's shit.
(See y’all tomorrow)
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