I live in wonder and gratitude that my home is visited by an abundance of wildlife. We have rabbits and a pair of mallard ducks that visit our front yard every Spring. We have squirrels and corvids year-round that chatter and cry out in the trees. There’s also a large, growing family of deer that wander around (and occasionally overstep their snacking boundaries by using my garden as a buffet). The deer are always the ones that bring me the most joy, though, because I have always felt a strong spiritual connection with Deer Spirit.

Back in 2018, almost exactly a year after my mother transitioned and entered into the Halls of the Ancestors, I was sitting on my front porch reading, and out of the corner of my eye I caught glimpse of a young deer. This deer was unlike any other I’d ever seen because he was missing the bottom half of his back right leg. He had a unique gait for a deer as you can imagine - sort of a dipping of his hindquarters as he moved slowly through the grass looking for his next snack. 
Over the years I continued to watch this young deer mature, grow a full rack of antlers, learn to leap and run, and — with the number of young fawns that would come to be born — I watched him become a father. It always seemed like when he would come to my mind and I’d start worry about his wellbeing, he’d show up and make himself known to me again. “Stop worrying. I’m living my life’s purpose. Get on with yours!” he’d say. 

His life and spirit being part of my own journey helped me through many of my own struggles and taught me many things.

“All is well, you are not broken, and you are perfect.”

You, in your beautiful existence just as you are, do not need anyone’s approval to live your life to the fullest. Live your life unabashedly as yourself. Whatever you are going through, you are whole and fully equipped with everything you need to make it. In that same token, advocate for what you need because you are worth it. Speak up. You are worthy. Take up space.

“Surround yourself with a community that loves you for who you are.”

Whenever I would see this deer, he was rarely alone. His family was always there to alert him if there was any threat. When it was time to move — whether it be walk or run — he was never the last one to exit the scene. Surround yourself with folks like that. Surround yourself with people who don’t view you as burden, but who would rather go at your speed to get you where you’re going with gentleness and deep love. Surround yourself with people who see you as the incredible being that you are. 

“Take your time.”

This life is bustling all around you, and you have no requirement to get caught up in the panic of it all. Slow down! Graze in the grass and wildflowers of life taking in every single element of its flavor: bitter, sweet, salty, sour, and even umami. When we take our time, we are more likely to live in the present moment, which is where gratitude exists. When we take our time, we have the time to notice our blessings.

“Give yourself grace.”

You’re not going to have the right answers all the time, and you will make mistakes. When this comes around, stop, take a breath, and know that there is a way forward. Give yourself the grace that you as a human are doing your best. Giving yourself grace also includes treating yourself with respect and being sure you’re tending to your self-care. Lie down when you need to, tune out of drama, and good grief, have some water.

And so now as I come to the end of writing all of this, I feel like I have maybe given that three-legged deer, to whom I gave the name Grace, his platform for more than just me to be inspired by him. I have since heard that earlier this year, 2023, he entered into the Halls of the Ancestors himself, maybe even to be greeted by my mother who loved animals in her own right. He is in good care. 

May his memory always be a blessing, and may the Spirit of Grace-Deer trot, leap, and gallop into the hearts of any who read his impact on my life, and settle into a special place there.

*In memory of Grace-Deer, my Three-Legged Soul-Friend.*

Seasonal changes have two forms in our lives- there is the season we ascribe to a given time frame often determined by imposed measures of time like calendar months or with the progression of equinoxes and solstices. There is also the seasonality of the land with whom we live which is informed by general weather patterns, the growth of flora and fauna, the shifting patterns of light, and the stirring of body and spirit in concert with the places we are rooted. 

Here in south central Texas the wildflowers have a predictable procession. I can tell you the likely weather, length of day, character of the sky, likely animal friends visiting my home-all based on what flowers are in what proportion at any given time of year, especially along the highways. There's a relationship there, a dance between all these aspects of the environment that provides the cues for certain flowers to bloom and those flowers in turn inform other aspects of the environment from what insect life is available to pollinate other plants and feed other animals to the changing levels of nutrients in the soil as they return to feed the earth from which they spring.

Of course, now there is climate chaos. There is weather all out of season or disproportionate to the Earth's hungers. Animals following their natural cycles come to this place and find their usual foods unavailable or find their predators too numerous or their prey too few because that which fed them is not growing. There is a sweetness to the beauty of a sudden profusion of flowers that is touched by the sorrow of knowing the imbalances that gave them birth. This knowing that has developed from almost four decades of living in Texas no longer can be relied on to pattern my own days.

But the flowers still bloom. And they are still signposts as much as they are a bittersweet wonder to eyes and hands and hearts. They still tell us about the weather and the soil and the rhythms of the land with whom we live. And we can begin to know not only the stories these flowers tell us but also our own signposts. What flowers spring up in you, nourish and delight your heart when the weather of your life is in time with your own rhythms, your own needs? What grows when the weather is heavy, turgid with unshed tears that cannot water your life until you shed them? What blooms in you when the soil of community is toxic with spillage from yourself or others?
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In this flourishing month, with the Flower Moon shining in our lives, I encourage you to reflect on what is growing in the soils of your own bodies, hearts, spirits, and communities. Hear what they are saying about your life and about what you may need to feed your flourishing. And set to work-and play and rest- with heart and hands full of the flowers that grow when we are in meaningful relationship with ourselves and our world.